READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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