I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
