I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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