We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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