how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
