She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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