Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
