I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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