Betty ford says i'm here all night
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
