I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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