it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
