If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
