R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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