My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
