We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
