I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
