He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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