I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
