I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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