The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
