do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just gift wrapped bread.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize