I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
