yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You're a disaster
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