STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
