operation harelip BJ is a go
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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