they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
