It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
