i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
