I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize