she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
