Sry I called you an 8
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
