Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you will always have a special place in my vag
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
