Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
