So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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