You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize
