I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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