Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
