she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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