my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize