had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
