Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Life is so much better after having sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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