The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
