The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
