The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize