i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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