Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
