Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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