oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
