I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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