1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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