Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
