dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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