Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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