WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
