god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
