I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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