I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
