The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
