we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
