I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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