Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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